Men: Beware Of Your Emotions

Angry young man look attract people to you. Is that so? Well, our so many Hollywood flicks make us believe that coolness in men is necessary and it is the quality that makes girls fall head over heels for them! Rather, it makes many men believe that they have to have the cool attitude may whatever happens in their emotional sphere. It seems fine for women to show their emotions, but for men, a strict “NO”! Surprisingly, women’s health and fitness is much more stable emotionally than men.

Leaving aside the societal norms, if we ask experts on psychology, they have an altogether different opinion to share. According to them, unspoken emotions can cause more harm to men than women. It is true that most women speak out to at least someone in their family or friends, and keep themselves emotionally stable despite their exhibition of emotions. On the contrary, men tend to suppress their emotions virtually at every juncture of life and therefore succumb more to varied emotional illnesses!



What are the emotional illnesses?

Well, the list is not very different from other lists of illnesses. The emotional illnesses are nothing but the illnesses developed from stress. Therefore, they obviously include hypertension, diabetes, obesity, and psychological overlay. They may also suffer from solitude, isolation, and depression due to non-voicing out of their emotions. It is well said by experts that “if you do not cry for the occasion, your organs make you cry later!” It means that for maintaining perfect health, one needs to handle his or her emotions carefully not to get them stagnant over any issue.

What are the steps one can take to handle emotions better?

(1) Channel your emotional upset into something worthwhile. It is the best way to deal with emotions. Do the things that make you calm and serene during emotional upheavals. A classical or folk music may help for some and other may find peace in a long drive. Some people say they find it better when they are engrossed in work.

(2) Try to confess things in front of someone who can guide you better. Many men find it difficult task. But try to do it once and see how much relief you feel from the clutches of depression.

(3) Address the issue from third man’s point of view. This enables you to have better understanding of the situation and you can find solutions faster.

(4) Try to develop yourself as an emotionally free individual. Remember you are responsible for your emotional health. So, try doing things that make you a freer individual.

Men’s health and fitness experts suggest that unless men start admitting their emotional upheavals, they cannot find peace. The dreaded illnesses like cardiac problems occur due to emotional outbursts that happen so very suddenly. They are rare to happen in women who do confess their emotions. Crying out is not a crime! Remember you want to lead a healthy life and your emotions play an important part in it. Express more and live longer!

By: Sam Loyal

3 Tips That Help To Deal With Breakup Emotions

So you recently suffered a breakup? You probably feel crummy about the entire experience. It’s likely you are suffering a bit of depression and feel lonely. It can take an extraordinary amount of strength to get out of bed to face the day but you know you have to do this. You have to find the strength somehow when thinking of wanting to make up with your ex and dealing with the emotions.

If you didn’t know, those feelings are completely normal to have. When you go through a breakup, life can feel like it’s been ripped out from underneath you. You’re probably crushed. Of course, this all means you had to care for your ex to feel the way you do. Chances are… you did.

While it’s completely natural to feel your pain, never let it rule your actions and never it stop you from putting one foot in front of the other to move on with life. Not to say you won’t feel like utter garbage in the first few days even weeks after the breakup, just don’t let the depressing emotions drag you around for so long. Take those hurtful feelings you have and make them into something different. Would you believe that you could use pain to your advantage? How?

For starters, break off any and all contact with your ex. When you are constantly seeing each other, you had more friction to the mess and the gap between the both of you is likely to get bigger. Instead, use this time to work on your issues and be a stronger person. Yes, this no contact rule can help you win your ex back, despite what you may believe.

Secondly, stick with the people who care about you. You’ll find that these are the folks that will love you no matter how bad the situation is. They are wonderful distractions for you to deal with the aftermath. Don’t forget to stay in physical shape as well. When you are healthy in body, you are also healthy in mind.

Third, never turn to illegal substances or alcohol for the easy way out. These never work and tend to make a bad situation worse. These substances typically impair your judgment and you may do things that you normally would not have done such as drunken dialing. When you are working to get your ex back, you should never use these as a way to deal with the pain.

By: TeeceeGo

Anger Management For Teens: Self Help Steps To Control Your Emotions

Anger is unavoidable. Feelings of anger are triggered by factors in our environment and are accompanied by certain physiological reactions. Anger management focuses on the negative expression of these feelings. When one externalizes anger, one can mistreat the world around him.

Teenagers have a unique experience with anger. Adolescence is a major growth stage emotionally, socially and physically. Teenagers go through this stage without the benefit of a fully mature brain. Thus, their understanding and ability to self-regulate their emotions is often difficult. There are, however, several ways in which teenagers can gain better control of anger management. Managing anger involves becoming aware of the physiological “signals”, such as blood pressure and heart rate, before the thinking part of the brain is bypassed and the action part of the brain is engaged.

Following are some of the concepts I offer teens:

1. It takes 10 steps before you “lose” your temper. Here’s an example: If I throw a ball to you, you catch it. However, if you were two-years-old, it might hit you in the face. Through trail and error, you have learned to lift your hands up, cup your hands, keep your eyes on the ball, bring your hands together at the right moment, press hard enough to keep the ball in your hands and suddenly you have caught the ball.

This “catching the ball” technique took months or maybe years to master. In the same way, learning techniques to control your anger takes time to learn. Let’s take a look at how we can break down the way we react in a situation to see how we might handle our anger differently:

*You ask your mom if you can go out while thinking to yourself: “She won’t let me.” You feel sick to your stomach, your heart races. You feel hot and angry and you’re ready for a fight. A little too rudely, you ask your mom if you can go out. She responds to your tone of voice and says “no.”

*You explode and scream, “I knew you were going to say that!”

*You go to your room and slam the door. You kick the bed and throw yourself down and think hateful thoughts.In order to begin to control your anger, you need to deconstruct your behavior and see all these “steps” you’ve gone through.

2. Prevention is the best medicine. If you understand step 1 and step 2 of your angry reaction, you can prevent steps 3, 4 and 5 from happening. Awareness is the key. Catching yourself before those other steps occur takes practice (like a child learning to catch a ball). You need to find a way to prevent yourself from going too far. In our example, from the moment you thought about asking your mom for permission to go out, you felt and behaved angrily. You need an alternative plan. One alternative during the early stages of anger is to pause and tell yourself, “I’ve got to break this pattern. Acting this way solves nothing. I don’t feel good when I get distressed. I need to calm down and then cope with what I’m feeling.” How do you do that?

*Take a deep breath. This allows you the opportunity to plan a different conversation with your mother.

*Use an external “reminder” to “stop, look, and listen” to different behavioral options. For instance, wearing a certain bracelet, ring or band can be a reminder for you that you need to stop long enough to consider the outcome of the path you are on.

*Give yourself a break. Go outside for a bit. Take 10 deep breaths. Go to your room, lie down and listen to music. Write a page in your journal. Any of these techniques will allow you the “space” to talk yourself through the problem at hand.

3. Like that child learning to catch the ball, it takes time to learn to control your behavior. In the event that you reach the point of losing your temper and expressing your anger, you need a plan as well. Some have found the following techniques as helpful at times like these: going for a run, punching a pillow, or throwing a ball. Screaming into your pillow can be more productive than screaming at your mother. These physical releases can produce a calmer state in which you can take a look at what led to the angry response and make a plan for the next time it happens.

4. Finally, write yourself a letter. Tell yourself the situations that trigger your anger. Describe the first steps as you move towards an angry outburst. Then, describe alternative plans for calming yourself and dealing reasonably with your anger. Give specific behavioral options that you’ve learned and calm you down at that stage. Also include plans for safe releases of your anger if it goes too far. This letter should be available at all times. Your own words can be your best coach when you feel circumstances getting out of control.

By: Laura Doerflinger, MS, LMHC

The Emotions Breakups Bring When You Break Up With Someone

Before you break up with your partner, there are a few things you must remember that breakups bring extreme emotions which you might not be prepared to handle. These emotions that accompany breakups range from being extremely sad, to being ok and from being very depressed one instant and then confident the next minute. Because these emotions are so intense, one must be absolutely sure before breaking up. Even things like breaking up and getting back together have repercussions. One could start feeling emotions of not feeling secure in the relationship.

During a break up with someone, you must recognize that there will be emotions and it will be high one day and low the next. This is how life is and breakups are no different. It is how to control these emotions that really counts. Sure breakups are extremely hard and difficult but like so many have gotten over it, so will you and your partner. When you suggest a break up with someone, the first emotion that will be felt by him or her is that of shock. Only of course if the break up was unexpected will this emotion show itself. Shock is never a good feeling in any situation so be sure when you break up with someone you at least give them warning signs as to what you intend to do. Let them down gently by not taking them by surprise. Shock is not only unpleasant but also can create medical problems. This includes stress levels rising, heart pumping rapidly and tension in the whole body. Unless you prepared to live with the fact that your ex will be ill as a result of the break up, then don’t surprise him or her with the news. It might be best to give signs that you are unhappy before the final break up.

The next emotion felt by the other person that is likely to follow when you break up with them, is the feeling of low self worth. That person will immediately feel as if the breakups their fault. Their confidence will start to deteriorate and they will start to feel depressed. Although you cannot control this feeling as it is really up to the other person, you can assure your ex that it is not because they are a bad person, but because the relationship was just not working. Be sure not to bruise that person’s ego to make them feel they were not good enough and this is why you would like to break up with them.

Emotions of anger will also follow. When you break up with someone, they might feel anger and hatred towards you. Your job is to convince the other person that the relationship would have never survived and that the breakup is a result of you not wanting to waste time and not to be hurtful. There will be sadness and loads of tears but, it will surpass. The emotions you feel as the person doing the breaking up such as confusion and sadness might be minimum, but will still exist.

By: Amelie Chance

7 Human Emotions And The Key To A Better Life

An emotion is just a state of mind or a feeling created when your focus on something that affects you on a mental and physical level. Everything we think we want out of life is all about our emotions. We may think we want better health, more wealth, or a better love life, but what we really want is happiness. It’s really not the “things” things that we want - we want the happy feelings we will have when we get the things. In this way, our lives are ruled by our emotions.

As Anthony Robbins has said, “Nothing in life has any meaning except the meaning you give it. If you don't like the way you're feeling, change the meaning”.


Every emotion we feel is created by us. Most people believe that their emotions are beyond their control. The think that emotions are uncontrollable reactions to things we encounter in life. This is not true. You can take control of your emotional responses, but only by dealing with them. Ignoring or denying your emotions is not the answer. You must be able to become the master of your 7 human emotions.

We have 7 different emotions, but our lives are driven by only two main categories - pain and pleasure. Our lives are governed by the desire for pleasure, or the desire to avoid pain. As the philosopher Jeremy Bentham said, “Nature has placed mankind under the government of two sovereign masters, pain and pleasure...(which) govern us in all we do, in all we say, in all we think: every effort we can make to throw off our subjection, will serve but to demonstrate and confirm it”.

Each of the 7 human emotions has both a positive and a negative side. We are drawn towards the positive emotions because they bring us pleasure, but we try to avoid the negative emotions because they cause us pain. Our instinct to avoid pain is actually stronger than our instinct to obtain pleasure. This is just how human beings are wired.

The 7 human emotions that bring us pleasure are Love, Sex, Hope, Faith, Sympathy, Optimism, and Loyalty.

The 7 emotions that cause us to feel pain are Fear, Hatred, Anger, Greed, Jealousy, Revenge, and Superstition. These all bring us discomfort, so we try to avoid experiencing them.

Anthony Robbins believes that people must learn to use their positive and negative emotions in order to succeed. Too many of us allow our emotions to use us instead. Life will control us unless we get control over our lives.

Our emotions, both positive and negative, have a purpose. They let us know whether we are moving toward something that will make us happy, or something that will bring us pain. We have to learn to listen to our emotions. If we try to suppress painful emotions, we merely make the problem worse in the long run. We will never be able move in the direction that can make us truly happy.

By: Seminar Review

How do you determine if you're under mind control?

It's an interesting question that you can pass around at a party or among friends.

The fact is that you just don't know. In fact everything you are doing could be a response that fits perfectly into another persons plans.

If you take that as a possibility you could simply just give up and yield to the fact that NOTHING is truly within your control but there is a healthier option.

It's quite simple, just ask yourself "Am I acting or am I reacting?"

If you are reacting then you are respond to something outside of your control and trying to gain some control back, a potential sign of some form of mind control.

No one likes to feel powerless and out of control.

The solution? To do something intentional and positive that is NOT a response to the external environment.

I want to emphasize the word "positive" here because an intentional negative/destructive act has to act on or destroy something pre-existing. It would be then something to which you are reacting.

This is much harder that it might seem because it requires four qualities that most "sheeple" find hard to implement. They are:

1) Thought.

People don't like to think, in general. That is why we have an unconscious (reactive) mind so it will do most of our actions for us. Most of us rely on it entirely too much or in the wrong way and allow it to dictate our every move by letting our emotions guide us. Advertisers, politicians, spouses and other manipulators know this and often seek to control you by fear, anger, threats and frustration. Thought requires that you determine what would be your best emotional response.

2 ) Creativity.

Creativity can be difficult because it requires taking action that is not linked to some external stimulus. This, of course requires thought, but one can train themselves and their unconscious mind to be very creative. Think of what Salvador Dali was able to do. Nothing he did in the field of art could easily be compared to anything prior to him. The same was true with his life.

3) Action.

Action takes effort. People (sheeple?) tend to not want to act instead they react and conserve their energy. What they don't understand is that by taking creative action in the manner described creates energy. Going back to Salvidor Dali as an example, his life was FULL of energy that he created. When his peers in the high brow field of art tried to control him he would turn his response into a new form of performance art. In so doing he would baffle the people trying to influence him and entertain everyone else.

4) Courage.

Why courage? Because when people recognize that they cannot control you through fear and anger they will severely escalate their attempts through threats and maybe even violence.

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Achieving Happiness

“If there is no struggle there is no progress" Those who profess to favor freedom and yet deprecate agitation, are men who want crops without plowing up the ground, they want rain without thunder and lightning. They want the ocean without the awful roar of its many waters. This struggle may be a moral one, or it may be a physical one, and it may be both moral and physical, but it must be a struggle. Power concedes nothing without a demand. It never did and it never will”
-Frederick Douglass-